Dead and Buried: How the Paranormal Community Killed My Interest in Ghost Hunting

I usually start my radio show with a short diatribe, which then becomes a post on this here blog. But this week an article was written with such heart and passion that I must put aside my own spewings and post it instead. I do this because the following opinion, ideas, words, paragraphs, verbs, nouns and expletives are very similar to my own. As I read Nick's words I could here them coming out of my mouth. No, I wasn't reading out loud, but rather I could see my self saying the following to some ParaTV true believer or "Ghost Hunting" ""Team"" (double quotes there) I run into on the street or in a chat room.

So without any more from me, I give you a brilliant article written by Nick Foust. PLEASE do yourself the favor and visit the blog I stole... I mean borrowed this from, whofortedblog.com. These are smart people with opinions worth listening to.

*If you're reading this before 12/03/09, listen to Nick, Greg and Dana from WhoFortedBlog as I talk with them on my radio show, Outlier Radio. You'll find a link to the show at hauntedhoax.net. If you're reading this after the 3rd you can download the show from the Outlier Radio page on BlogTalkRadio.

~phtd




Dead and Buried: How the Paranormal Community Killed My Interest in Ghost Hunting
By Nick Foust

Wow. Hasn’t it been about 8 years since I last contributed a written piece to this collective? Seems sad. Eight years since writing an informative literary work on snack foods. I’ve been bothered to do a sequel, so maybe that will come later in an up-to-date video, Martha Stewart style. I’ve strayed from writing because, frankly, I’m not really that good at it unlike many of the others who contribute. I say what I say with voice and verb and freakish body movements that for some reason make people laugh, and I’m fine with that. Humor is the spice of life. Humor should come into play with every part of life, even if that life is based around the “dead” or other supernatural elements. I felt like writing about something that’s been on my mind for the past few weeks: how humor has seemed to have lost it’s way in this “field” (and I can’t believe I actually just referred to this hobby as a field in itself). I also wanted to share my opinion about how ghost hunting bores me and how it should just be left dead and buried.

Back in the day (high school) I couldn’t think of anything else that would make me happier than sneaking out with my friends (Ghost Hunters, Incorporated) at one in the morning to some abandoned graveyard or a house rumored to be haunted. I didn’t take drugs, I didn’t drink. Adventuring was my drugs and alcohol. That was my rush of adrenaline that nothing else could satisfy. It was fun and it was mind opening. It wasn’t too far into it that when something actually unexplainable happened that I questioned what exactly was going on. What exactly are we dealing with? It was the first time that I asked myself, “are we not alone?” Ghost hunting, if you want to call it that, was my safe haven growing up. It was something that always presented itself as a way out of the real. It was that thing that made you different from everyone else. It was like living in suburbia with the only house painted black. Sure, people noticed. Some would just think you’re nuts and others stupid and who knows what else. But I guarantee you that each one of those fuckers were also curious but too afraid to say something because they didn’t want their throats slit by those “satan-worshipping kids that robbed graves on the weekends” (remember, ghost hunting wasn’t mainstream back then, people didn’t get it).

I’m 24 now and it’s been about 11 years since my getting into the paranormal. I’ve noticed so many changes from that time, the time I loved, to now. Since that time, ghost hunting just seems to be a used and abused prostitute selling itself for every dime, nickel, and penny. By today’s moral standards in the field, a handshake would be like giving someone a blow jay while playing the trombone at the same time. It doesn’t make sense. Even typing this, I’m disgusted and annoyed at myself because everyone already knows this. Everyone has already read this over and over, again and again. I’m just voicing my opinion on how ghost hunting should all-together be dead and buried. I’m sick of it. I’ve been sick of it for a long time. Since it’s been globally marketed I’ve found myself saying, “f*** this” constantly. I’ll be honest when saying that just about every piece that’s been written from the GHI days to Who Forted has pretty much been by Greg or Dana. They’re like Van Helsing, Charles Fort, and Buffy combined into one wrecking machine ready to drop kick someone’s paranormal shit into next Tuesday, somewhere around brunch. Sure I’d give some of my two cents to throw in there occasionally, but not much more.

The thing is, well, I don’t care. It’s boring to me. It’s something that I have no interest in sharing with other people, and I care even less to hear their experiences, because really, it’s all the same shit. Most people lie, and some tell the truth, but you always have to question them and be skeptical of everything they say. Having to be that way just kinda sucks. People arguing on forums about their knowledge of ghosts, and whose is better than someone else’s, or who did this to this person or that to another person, then a huge argument erupts because someone attacked their “intelligence”. It’s this repetitious bullshit that has just driven me away, and I can pretty much say I will never, ever, write an article about ghosts because I don’t care anymore. Sure, I love to go out with friends to abandoned places, graveyards, and the like because those places are amazing on their own. If something weird happens, then that’s just a plus. I just don’t see the point in sharing it with anybody else except for maybe my close friends and family anymore. Sure, maybe you’ll argue that people need to share these experiences with others to open minds or to convince people that they’re not alone or whatever. Or, I could be way off and you’ll argue about something else entirely that I totally missed because I’m really not the sharpest tool in the shed (I did have “smartest tool in the shed” written there until Greg pointed that out, so you can see that I’m telling the truth). I’m simple. I’m not going to argue with anyone about this because I don’t feel the need to. I don’t even want to. To me, this “field” is dead, has been for awhile now. Yes, that pun was indeed intended.

To all the paranormal media: we all know which ones are trying to do the “right thing” and which ones aren’t and which ones just plain suck. Actually, thinking about it, the last sentence was more to internet “radio shows” because every fucking television show I’ve seen about ghosts has sucked. Not one of them has even attempted to do the “right” thing. I don’t know even what that right thing is, but those shows seem to be way off. We don’t need anymore “ghost and/or demon” shows. They’re boring and way too over-the-top at the same time. Does anyone really buy it?

That’s why my interest in the matters of specters has been vaporized. Not by the relentless attacks by Darth Vaders clone army and their damn blasters, no! Instead, it’s this clone army of televised ghost shows that have all done one thing: They’ve helped form a rebel alliance that will, hopefully in the coming years, tear apart the empire. Holy shit, did I just go off-topic, but I hope you see the meaning. I can only hear so many “EVPs” that are pretty much the same two words or a growl, or hearing the same types of haunting stories, and how “I’ve seen this” or “well, I’ve seen this!” or “my house is haunted you should come look at it, because I heard creaking noises like someones walking up the steps…”

Who f***ing cares!??

Oh my hamma jamma! You gots da ghost that haunts the stairs, child!! GET THE TV CREW! It’s all the same. Wherever you turn, there it is just standing there waiting to be recognized, and you people keep going up to it and seeing if it’s ok. It’s like little kids who sit by themselves and look sad so that people come and give them attention. Fuck that! The next time you see some little kid doing that run up to them and just yell, “WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU! GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Then just walk away. WALK AWAY. All I’m saying is that because of the actions of this so-called “ghost hunting community,” which in itself is just total bullshit, you have this “cause” going around now about “paranormal unity”. Are you f***ing serious? Granted, the empire needs to fall, but don’t call it paranormal unity. It’s just another excuse for some organization to crop up that will, in turn, exclude other groups because they don’t see eye to eye on every subject, and someone who’s way too serious about themselves will use the organization to do something stupid and then the whole vicious cycle happens over again. The only difference about that situation are the people being overthrown. Speaking of being too serious, on to the next topic!

What happened to the humor? WTF? Where has it gone?? Who stole it and why? It was so young and innocent. Humor is everything that makes me, well.. me. I can’t go 10 seconds without smiling. I don’t want to. That would suck. So why is it that we have to give up humor because we’re involved in this taboo that is *gulp* ghost hunting? Okay, fuck this, enough using the term ghost hunting. It’s the paranormal. Will always be paranormal. Get rid of that other thing. Every time it rolls off the tongue it brings me back to my more curious years with Greg and just leaves a rough, dry, beef jerky taste in my mouth. So I mean come on people. Laugh at yourselves! Think about what we’re all doing in the paranormal field and just start laughing. How could you not? Stop taking yourselves so damn seriously. I’m going to be honest with you right now. I want to you sit down, no wait, I want you to lie down on a couch or on something padded and make sure there are no sharp objects in reach. Are you ready? Okay, here it comes…

The paranormal is not a professional field of study. You can’t be a professional in this field. You can’t be Dr. Theodore Thompson, Professional Guy of Paranormal Stuff. That’s like saying your some dude that is a professional on alien races (space people, not the ones terkin er jerbs) jumping back and forth from the moon and earth. No! You aren’t! Because you don’t know! That’s why it’s so funny when people argue about this topic. Some gawdy pedo-looking guy in a scarf arguing with someone about how this particular ghost is here for this reason, and wants this or that, is completely ridiculous because he doesn’t know! We’ve gotten so far now that when anyone cracks a joke about this one guy, on this certain team, doing this thing with some other dude, you get a letter in the mail saying “cease what you’re doing or you’ll get sued”. I mean come on, really? The only reason we here at WF have lasted this long is becuase we aren’t afraid to speak our minds, and pretty much make it our goal to just have as much fun as possible while doing our thing. and you know what? It’s worked. Making yourself out to be this no-nonsense tough-guy in a field where everyone is chasing invisible monsters? Well, that makes you a huge asshole.

Take, for instance, Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson from their lame show Ghost Hu… ooooOOOOOoooOOoo. Almost got me there. Anyways, those guys are two prime examples of taking yourselves way too seriously. I bet the sex is rough, but not in a good way. I’ve actually sat down to watch their show a few times and wow. Could they be anymore of a couple of dick and balls? That show sucks because it’s boring. It’s not entertaining, even when they’re faking evidence. There is no humor. Did I mention that they fake stuff? Other shows like Paranormal State suck because, again, too serious, but in a different way that makes even less sense. I guess when you’re “Vatican-consulted” warriors battling demons it’s not a good idea to take things with a grain of salt. Now, Ghost Adventures….”HEY YOU! GHOST! I’MA F*** YOU UP!” That show would be hilarious if they weren’t serious about it. Ok, never mind, it’s still hilarious.

Then you have this new show, Extreme Paranormal F*** Up. Seriously? You people realize that we’ve come down to our lowest point with this show, right? This is a show where it’s ok to cut yourself because you’re doing it for the sake of, uhhh, umm.. “ghost research”, yeah, that’s it! A show where it’s ok to try and get possessed by a spirit because it’s for the sake of “capturing live spiritual activity on TV” (by the way, when they found Nathan on the ground, did you notice that they didn’t proceed any further with that whole scene, instead totally blowing it off like it never happened?) This show is terrible for reasons that, if I typed them all out, would only end with my fingerprints being embedded into the letters on this keyboard. First off, I know these people. I knew one of them for almost a decade and thought he was a good friend, but that’s not what this peice is about. The humor I knew from this guy, his greatest asset, was absent. There was none. The sole purpose of entertainment in this production was to attempt “extreme” stunts in an attempt to draw out paranormal activity. By “extreme”, I mean stupid. Result? A single door slam, an obviously fake EVP (which isn’t impressive at all considering anyone with a f***ing taperecorder can stand just about anywhere and pick up something similar), and a forever lingering scar on the paranormal “field.” Jason was one of the funniest people I have ever had the opportunity to be friends with. What in God’s name happened? He started taking himself seriously. When you stat to feel that way about yourself and the things that you’re are doing, you tend to forget the position that you’re in. We are not professionals. None of us are. Some may know a little more information than others, but for those others that information is not that hard to obtain. I know when I need to be serious in a situation. But these people are serious in just about every situation, whether on TV or on a microphone from their parent’s basements. I know that for some people, the paranormal is their life and they’ll defend it for whatever change that comes. This is their baby. But change is going to come.

You people are boring, old, and have really f***ed it up for the younger generation. Of course, there are those who have tried to steer the paranormal world into the right direction, a direction of curiosity, fascination, and intelligence, but there are far too few of them. I’m not saying be a jackass. As young teens we’ve done that, but now we’ve actually grown up a bit, if you can believe it. I don’t want to watch some asshole yell to the top of his lungs at some ghost, calling it out and actually being serious about it. That’s f***ing stupid, and it’s really not funny at all. It’s sad. I want someone to yell at something with a hint of sarcastic flare that would send a grin to my face, perhaps even a chuckle to my lips. I want a group that in a middle of an investigation would break into a musical, and then continue on afterwards like nothing happened. So yeah I guess I kind of do want a jackass group of “investigators” to watch on television. But I also want to see a group that would show respect and act “serious” when the time calls for it. Some consider this new group Extreme Paranormal to be the jackass of the paranormal. To me, that would be a compliment. No, my dear fellow few readers. They are not jackassess. They are something else entirely.

People, we’re involved in a community that investigates things that have not been identified as being real. We’re searching for ghosts in all hours of the day and night in people’s houses, graveyards, abandoned buildings, etc. Not to mention that some of us take it further and go after bigger mythological game like Bigfoot, Nessie, the Chupacabra, the Jersey Devil, and the fucking Moth Man. How can you possible do these things and continue to take yourself too seriously without looking batshit crazy? How can one not take the time and think about what they are actually “investigating” and not just start laughing. I’ve hunted Bigfoot! It was probably one the coolest experiences that I’ve had the pleasure to be a part of. And guess what? It was hilarious, which made it that much better.

I hope that this strange era that the paranormal field is in will come to an end soon. With humor you can accomplish a lot. Who says humor isn’t what the paranormal world needs? It seems that humor is the only thing that the pararnormal reality shows haven’t used. Humor can heal. Humor can change who we are in a positive way. Granted, I’m not referring to our making fun of other people in this field is the right type of humor, but come on, it’s funny. If you’ve got a problem with it, why not for once trying to toss the ball back our way? We give everyone the chance to take a joke. And when you act all high-and-mighty and get all offended then you’ve given yourself away. But if you can take a joke, see it for what it is, and reciprocate? A whole new relationship emerges. We’ve been known as jerks, dicks, and horrible people for “making fun” of others, but are we really just supposed to step back and accept all that is going on around us? Eehhhhh. No. I don’t think so. We’ll speak our minds. We’ll call you out.

PS: Amy Bruni, I’d like to sincerley apologize for referring your face to that of a horse. It was really mean, but I bet you laughed a little yourself. Our condolences will be sent via US Mail soon.

Much Love,
Nick Foust

The topic: GHOSTS

The question: WHAT ARE THEY?

The answer? We still don’t know. Research on the ghosts was conducted centuries before we were born and stories about them have been told since the beginning of recorded history. It’s more than possible we may never have an answer during our lifetimes and we’ll have to become ghost to understand what they are.

All we have now are theories and the fantastic stories breed in the imaginations of writers, film makers, parapsychologists, and the weekend ghost hunters. Me, being two and a half of those I just listed, have spent many hours with many friends and many empty bottles with the question, what are ghosts? Do I have an answer after all of this? I’m not even close, but the conversations and ideas thrown at the subject have given me some great story ideas for the future.

When I let my thoughts wander they – they being the gremlins in my head who pull the levers and grease the gears – first wonder, are ghosts natural? Meaning are they a part of nature’s design?

This is a good place to start on our quest for an idea towards an answer.

ARE GHOSTS NATURAL?
Thousands of new life forms are being discovered each year, which makes me ask, are ghosts a species of life we have yet to understand? Everything in nature has a purpose. From bacteria, to the most annoying insect, to the slimiest reptile, and the smelliest mammal. From algae, to fungus, to grass and trees. From the smallest to the largest every living, breathing thing on Earth is connected. One life or one death effects the lives and deaths of all the others. One feeds off the other. One takes in what another expels. It’s the butterfly effect. Which leads to the question, what role do ghosts play in nature if a part of it? If nature is perfectly balanced, how much weight do they carry and how do they tip the scales? I don’t see them having any in the grand scheme of things or effecting the life and death of any other life form. Sure you could say ghosts feed off human energy and they do effect life by causing despair in the lives of millions who encounter them, but these ideas don’t lead to an answer to the question.

It does lead to the question, ARE GHOSTS PHYSICAL? Now, we’re wandering into the subject of physics. A branch of science concerned with the nature and properties of matter and energy, and I admit a subject I know little about. All I’m able to do is bounce my ideas off the research I find. One thing I do know is that the physical does effect the natural? Wind blows the trees. Gravity keeps our feet on the ground. Heat and radiation travels through space and bombards the Earth. Can ghosts be explained using physics? The science does study energy, and most theories are based on ghosts being energy. Another thought, are ghosts echoes of us in another time or dimension, which appear to us as shadows and energy through wormholes or rips in time? Are ghosts simply Earth-based energy? Is it physical energy? Is it life energy cast off by humans?

This takes us to the next question. ARE GHOST PSYCHOLOGICAL?
Personally I think 90% of all ghost sightings can be linked to the human psyche. We want to see ghosts. We enter buildings expecting to see ghosts. We turn tricks of the eye, muscle spasms, and visual and auditory hallucinations into ghost. And we who fill our heads with ghost stories, legends, theories, and haunting images from television have conditioned (or you could say contaminated) our brains to see ghosts first and ask questions second. The main question here is, can the psychological effect the physical? Can we, with our individual and combined thoughts and wishes create the phenomenon we associated with ghosts? Do we have the dormant ability to move object, project our emotions and send our thoughts to others? If the answer is yes what makes us humans so special?

Which makes me ask, ARE GHOSTS SPIRITUAL?
The majority of ghost sightings and reports of hauntings are said to look, walk, talk and behave like humans. Humans are the only creatures on Earth that believe in a god. Is it this belief in something greater than us that gives us special abilities? Has an unseen and unheard power looking over mankind blessed us with powers no other creature on the planet possesses? Why is it only humans (and the occasional house pet) can become ghosts? Is it the belief there is something greater waiting for us after this life? For many living a horrible existence this thought could be their only hope. This hope becomes strength. It gives people the power to get through the day. Does this power become so strong at the moment of death that the energy is able to survive outside the body? Is this our soul, our spirit, which then is called up to heaven or cast down into hell? One thing for sure is spirituality does effect the psychological. The evidence of this can be seen on the news every night in footage of war and hate crimes.

This all leads me to a final thought. ARE GHOSTS EXTRATERRESTRIAL?
Now this theory is way out there, but still a theory and it shouldn’t be dismissed right away. No theory should be thrown out until it has been examined, tested and discussed. To start the conversation I ask, is it possible that ghosts are an energy-based life form? Have they been here for decades, living with us, learning our habits and ways? Could what we call residual haunting be these aliens continuing to act and behave as the deceased once did? Are ghosts creatures feeding off the decomposing materials found in the buildings they haunt? Or, do we humans have the ability to become ghosts because we are the genetic experiments of aliens? Are they the god that gave us this power? Maybe they effect everything and we’re just puppets on the string. I know, these ideas border on insane, but we must present all questions to the public, no matter how absurd, if we hope to gain some ground on the subject.

In the search of an answer to one question I have asked a dozen more. In no way are these thoughts fully realized. But we must ask these and many more questions, and then examine them thoroughly and without bias if we one day in the near or distance future want to find the answer to what ghosts are.

PARADICULOUSNESS REX

PARADICULOUSNESS REX (Para . dic . u . lous . ness Rex): n. A Ridiculous Paranormal Personality

I had a moment of clarity after a televised investigation I did last week. It was late in the night and I was staring up at the sky, waiting. And as I waited an asteroid, a mile in diameter burned through the atmosphere and slammed into the planet which was my brain. A fire storm of fiery rock and ash roared over the surface, incinerating the dinosaurs and erupting volcanos. My thoughts were shaken and cracked. The star-filled sky turned black, concealing all that is known and believed in deep shadow.

And in that moment of nothingness my mind was clear. New thoughts and ideas took root. Buried beneath were the fossilized skeletons of the cold-blooded monsters that dominated the paranormal landscape. Vicious creatures that attacked the weak and made sure all the smaller animals knew, without a doubt, they were at the top of the food chain. Their roars echoed through the valley, silencing all others. Their footsteps and steaming piles of waste marked their path.

Following closely behind in the shadows of these giants were smaller, weaker creatures feeding off the scraps that fell from the predator’s dripping jaws. They sniffed the territorial markings left behind and walked in the footprints, which trampled the pristine landscape. These scavenging creature’s lives revolved around the actions of those they followed. They lived for them. The creatures were their gods. Without them they had no life. And in their under-developed brains, they dreamt of the day they would be as powerful and possibly be allowed to walk beside the great beasts. To have their own followers who would consume all the droppings from their lips and nether regions.

And never will the followers stray while in the shadows, for if they took a different path or decided to depend on their own thoughts and skills to survive they would become lost and perish alone. And these followers make sure to stay quiet behind their givers of life. Because they know if they make too much noise or created a stir in the paranormal jungle the powerful monster they follow would turn around and devour them whole. Later crapping them out in a clearing and left as a warning to any other minion who might be thinking they can challenge the leadership of the Para-Rex.

After the demise of these creatures and only their bones remain. After years of being buried deep under sediment and rock. Will these creatures turn into oil for future paranormal investigator to pump out of the Earth and turn into fuel? Will this fuel power new vehicles and ideas that take mankind to the next level or with they power machines that pump out thick pollutants that will choke us with old beliefs and ways?

When a new generation walks the land, looking for answers – one who is unaware of the creatures of the past – will they dig up the fossils and rebuild the skeletons and display them in a wing of a museum? Will they recreate the creatures in wax and plastic to be exhibited behind glass?

I can see it already – kids pouring out of school buses on a field trip and impressionable youngsters squinting at the name plates saying, “Wow, they look so real, so lifelike.” But there’s no reason to be afraid because they’re all fake. Everyone of them started out as a ball of wax, which was then molded into what you see displayed before you. Everything from their look, the prop equipment put in their hands and the environments they’re placed in are all pieced together by the museum curator.

But we’re talking evolution here. What about the Creationists out there? Now, I’m not even sure if these people understand what I’m saying here, or if they got the metaphor. But with the paranormal field as it stands now creationism and the ideas associated with it fits. Everything we see and hear was created. And the god who gave it life sits behind a desk, checking the viewer ratings on his Blackberry and counting the advertising dollars.

So to conclude, I’m no longer going to waste my time with ParaRealityTV. The Para-Rexs themselves may be decent people and great to hang out with, but when it comes to their shows -- if you need to find me I’ll be over in the James Randi and Harry Price wings of the museum reading a book. There are plenty of empty seats here so feel free to join me.

~phtd

Learn something new everyday

I get a lot of email every week from fans of Haunted Hoax asking me questions about what they have witnessed of seen on the web. And I’m not so into myself like others in this field, so I can admit that I don’t know everything about the paranormal. Hell, with all the knowledge and history out there on the subject I maybe know 20%, but sadly that’s 15% more than what people who learn from TV actually know. And that’s being generous. I wish I could recite the facts on pioneers in the field, scientific explanations, or technical specs about the devices being exploited, but my brain leaks worse than a screen door. The general information stays put, but I always have to turn to my filing cabinet to look up the specifics. For everything I know I rely on people not just smarter than me, but people who know more about one aspect in the field or those with a slightly different vantage point.

Now, I’ve been nothing but honest to you from day one. And I’m not going to start lying to you now. I’m nothing but a shy, C-student who grew up in the city. My social skills on the bright side of an Irish pub are spit. And my SAT scores couldn’t get me into community college. Luckily art college didn’t require them, and studying art actually helps me in paranormal investigation. In many ways I’m glad I received the alternative education that I did. It taught me to pay extra attention to details and how to deconstruct what I see.

My family life and upbringing also didn’t give me the book smarts I wish I had more of, but from growing up the way I did I learned common sense. And I think, to survive this life we live we need equal parts book smarts and street smarts.

What I’m really good at is puzzles. My favorite books growing up were the Hardy Boys, the only video games that interested me were the ones where you have to collect clued and solve riddles. I think that I why I love the paranormal field. It’s an unsolved mystery. There are clues placed before us, theories, and misdirection. My big thing is deconstructing all of this and trying to piece together the puzzle. Right now the paranormal field is like, if you pulled out the game of Sorry for family fun night and when you opened the box, with all the pieces that belong there’s a dozen Uno cards, 3 monopoly hotels, a couple pink 50’s, and a handful of Hungry-Hungry-Hippos marbles. Haunted Hoax is me attempting to identify the pieces that don’t belong and put them in their proper place.

To put it straight, I’m just a guy who isn’t afraid to put his face and voice out there for people to soak in and criticize. A far cry from the kid I was in school. Yes, I do teach through Haunted Hoax, but everything I teach, I learned from someone a lot smarter than myself. What’s the old saying? Knowledge is power. Well, combined knowledge... shared knowledge is extreme power.

I learn something new everyday from people who email me, articles I read, internet radio shows and even from simple messages posted on social sites like Twitter and Facebook.

I should read more book and I wish I did. And I’m not going to go though my list of excuses why I don’t. I’m just glad that I didn’t grow up an arrogant, egotistical ass who paints themselves as an expert and the master of the paranormal. I’m also glad, and lucky that I know people, not yet on a personal level, but as friends on a social site level who I can turn to with questions when I have no idea what the answer is.

I surround myself and align with people I can learn from. People who will teach me, or is it whom, something new everyday.

The Paranormal Rapture

This has been a week of reflection – reflection about this field we’re in. I named my radio show Outlier because I’m stepping outside our universe and looking back in. I’m standing on the edge of the paranormal crater and surveying all that is happening and not happening. And for an hour every two weeks I’m sharing my observations with you. I believe that everyone should take on the role of an Outlier from time-to-time and ask yourself – Why? Why am I doing this? And why are others doing what their doing?

The main problem I’m seeing out there from my vantage on the edge is that this paranormal thing we have going on now is open to anyone and everyone. This isn’t a “field,” it’s a hobby. A recreation. It’s something cool to post to your friends online. It’s an amusement park open to the public and all the rides are free. There’s no order, no guidelines, no standards, and NO experts. It is the definition of chaos and it has been swelling for years now. Teams from one town are attacking other teams. Believers of one theory are bad mouthing to no end the names of another with a different opinion. There are no conversations. Just battles being waged behind the walls of computer screens and user names. Amateurs are learning their ways from television and the pursuit of fame and fortune has replaced the need and desire to find answers and uncover the unexplained mysteries of this world we live in.

Right now, with where we are in paranormal research, everything can be dated BGH and AGH: Before Ghost Hunters and After Ghost Hunters. BGH is when I used to study the paranormal during my free time because of my own personal curiosities. AGH is Haunted Hoax – where I have to help hold together something that I love. I am glue, duct tape, reenforced concrete because more and more people are jumping this run away train. And once it becomes overloaded with passengers it’s going to go flying off the tracks.

To be chonest, there are days in every week when I feel like dropping out of the scene. Then I can just sit back and wait for the titlewave of popularity to retreat back into the ocean. It would make my life so much easier and I’m sure there are more than a few people that would welcome my absence, but I’m too vested in this now. I’ve created something I believe needs to be out there for people to see.

I was watching the movie Hellboy the other night and in it the characters work for the governments, “Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense.” Now that’s something I would be all in for. An organized, national group who are bound by rules, properly trained, and working as a tight knit group dedicated to a job. But oh to dream. We are what we have created in more ways than one and a big part of me hopes the ceiling drops out of this thing sooner than later. That the entertainment value of ghosts and hauntings will die and the stars will fall from peoples eyes.

Lets return to what we were – researchers, not reality show stars and special guests. No more heroes and gods. Lets lose the glamour so that the want-to-be’s will be disillusioned and lose interest. Go. Run. Return to your normal lives. There’s nothing to see here. Move along and let only those of us who truly, deeply and passionately love the paranormal remain to do what we first set out to do. Maybe then we will find the answers to the questions we are all looking for.

We can call this event the paranormal rapture and it will be glorious.

Outlier Radio airs August 20th at 8pm PST!

OUT-LI-ER: noun: Things or phenomena that lie outside normal experience. An observation that is different from the others of the sample. The presence of an outlier indicates some sort of problem.

Listen LIVE every Thursday at 8pm Pacific, 11pm Eastern.
Call in & speak with me live on the air: 347.857.4863





There are thousands of paranormal based radio programs on the web, but just as HAUNTED HOAX shows you what no other show can, what you’ll hear on OUTLIER RADIO is unlike anything else.

Outlier Radio is out to expose the fakes in the paranormal community who claim to be real and offers possible explanations to haunting evidence posted on websites and shown on popular network television shows.

Host Patrick H.T. Doyle invites you to join him every Thursday at 8pm Pacific, 11pm Eastern. He'll answer the questions he receives each week and give his opinion on videos emailed to him from all over the world. Call ins are welcome, and questions posted in the chat room during the show will be answered as they're asked.

Listen in. Give me a call. Or just join in the chat.

~patrick

Haunted Hoax Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

For more information contact:
July 14, 2009
Patrick Doyle
hauntedhoax@yahoo.com



LOCAL NONPROFIT IS PUTTING GHOSTS OUT OF BUSINESS.

PORTLAND, OR – Patrick H.T. Doyle, owner of Haunted Hoax, isn’t easily rattled, but he banks on the fact that other people are easily spooked. He is the anti-ghostbuster.

Haunted Hoax is a successful non-profit organization in Portland, Oregon, which is focused on finding rational answers to paranormal claims. The group is new to the Northwest, but in the past decade Patrick has successfully explained away claims of haunting activity at The National Cemetery, the famed Columbarium of San Francisco, Fort Barry, and numerous private residences and businesses.

Doyle believes that the recent explosion of paranormal activity all over the world has a simple explanation. He feels that it’s because being “haunted” is good for business and with the never-ending string of paranormal programs hitting the air each season, viewers of said shows are more than likely to turn every unexplained sound, dark shadow, and tingle up their spine into a ghost.

“The majority of people who call me don’t want to be haunted,” Doyle said. “I help them find the answers they need using science, logic, and common sense; in more cases than not the activity my clients are experiencing can be explained away as tricks of the mind and eye.”

On a local level, Doyle took on Portland’s famous Witches Castle, which can be found in Forest Park where the Wildwood and Lower Macleay trails meet. Doyle investigated the site and uncovered the truth concealed beneath decades of myths and urban legends. It provided him with the perfect case to introduce his unique style and approach to the Northwest’s paranormal community.

“I was told three stories about the castle’s history, and each one is more fascinating and fantastic than the next,” Doyle said.

One urban legend is the Witches Castle was once a trading post for fur and goods traders in the early 1600’s. Another states Forest Park grows up from the bones of countless settlers and Native Americans who died traumatically from bad deals, greed and hate; their spirits are said to be locked in a timeless “ghost war,” and if you happen to be caught there during one of these battles at night, you might not escape the Witches Castle. The third legend, is that the castle is the site of Oregon’s first legal hanging in 1859. To escape authorities after murdering his son-in-law, Danford Balch faked his own death by having his wife claim he drowned in the nearby creek, but he was found hiding in the basement and was dragged out into the yard and hung in the nearest tree. His shadow can still be seen ducking into the basement.

It turns out that the truth of Witches Castle is stranger, and more amusing, than fiction, because the Witches Castle is actually “the witches bathroom,” Doyle explained. “It’s a public toilet constructed in the 1930’s and in 1962, during the Columbus Day storm, the water lines were washed away.” Instead of repairing and rebuilding the rest stop, the Park Authority of the time decided to tear down most of the structure and leave the stone walls to spark the imaginations of future Portlanders.”

With local cases like the Witches Castle under his belt, Haunted Hoax, has become the leading authority in Portland’s paranormal community within the past year. But with Doyle’s success, has also come controversy from the ghost-buster bunch, who accuse him of being a “trouble-maker.”

But fans and foes can’t seem to get enough of Doyle’s straightforwardness, theories, and explanations of local paranormal mysteries and urban legends. Doyle has been scrambling to keep up with the demand from Portlanders who are desperate for answers.

When asked about upcoming investigations, Doyle said, “My dream investigation in Portland is to be let loose in the Shanghai Tunnels for a night; I’ve explored the Seattle Underground, but in the tunnels I might actually capture something I can’t debunk, disprove, or recreate.”

Episodes of Haunted Hoax, which include Doyle’s investigation of Portland’s Witch’s Castle, can be viewed at
http://www.youtube.com/HauntedHoax and his website hauntedhoax.net.

In addition to his non-profit work, Doyle is also the award-winning author and illustrator of the young-readers series, “Edgar Font’s Hunt for a House to Haunt” (http://edgarfont.com)